third year. been through the first half of my 4-year studies. things are getting tougher i'm already worried about my final year.
i have no idea what's wrong with me. i received my raya biscuits package today. the postage is more expensive then the biscuits themselves haha. And i was so happy, getting something that's from home. something that has been touched by my parents who wrapped the containers and brought them to the post office. And I saw my dad's awful handwriting. Suddenly it seems like the most beautiful handwriting in the world. i cut off the address part along with the RM78-stamps and threw away the rest of the package. and i wish to keep the address part, which contains my dad's serenely beautiful handwriting...
my excitement was erased completely when i found that one of the containers was broken, the biscuits inside there were crushed so bad, i could hardly tell which kind of biscuit they were. later i realized the huge pieces of almond nuts that are not already in their respective paper cups. i guess it must be "almond london" la kan. i picked up every pieces and placed them back evenly into the empty cups that i could find. at the end of the transferring into another decent container, i found that my heart was already crushed, just like those crushed biscuits. i know, right? no big deal. it's common for this to happen. unless if the biscuits are hard like rocks, then this wouldn't happen at all. but it just saddens me that, the things that i got from home are crushed like that. though these are, not permanent stuff (it's not like i'm going to put them all on my shelf for display), it still makes me upset.
mom bought the wireless internet though we already have streamyx at home. but she said she's worried about not being able to chat with me online cause my parents were going back to Malacca a few days ago. The fact that she made that effort just to make sure that we would not lose contact for about a month, makes me think a lot whether I am capable of talking to them on the phone on raya's eve. i called them every year. but i never felt this hard before T_T
and this morning my junior posted this video
that managed to make my eyes sore till the end of the day. i was wondering if i am ever going to be like those children, or if i've already been one. "Mak tau korang semua busy." that's what my mom told me too. and right now i feel angry about my courses which are already giving me a lot of hard times, i can't chat with her as frequent as i used to. i hope i would not turn into that kind of child if i were to be destined to become successful one day...
seriously i feel like going through puberty for the first time all over again. i just can't get it, where did all these feelings come from? i'm kinda afraid of these changes. but the feeling is just aching down there. i miss my family super badly T_T
5 comments:
I can almost feel my heart shatter as I read about the crushed biscuits. I know how it feels since the biscuits themselves has a dual meaning of home and Raya (which also explains why I still have the Chinese pastries, which were sent by my parents, stored in my freezer since last November or so. A high chance of food poisoning but no way I'm gonna throw them away!!!).
Don't feel depressed k? I may not have the authority to say so but I believe your loved ones will want you to celebrate Raya in a joyous manner, for both your sake and theirs.
And I don't believe you're part of the "kacang lupakan kulit" clan. To quote from "Kingdom Hearts" (ahh, i'm still a gamer at heart, takleh lepas ni. LOL): "What is important is not how much we see each other but how often we think about each other."
Hang in there, Kak. Think "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger," yea?
Alyssa =D
Alyssa....
T_T thank you so much, your words are very nice weh... i feel terharu... thanks sgt2 huhu
i also feel like sayang la to eat the biscuits, but then they are all so nice. i can't resist myself from eating them. hahah. i'll pass some to you nanti. don't know when yet. but i will.
it's been a while eh since we hang out a lot together. kinda miss the kekecohan at 14 eliz. ct. la. hahah. *hugs you girls!*
iklan iklan macam ini kalau ditonton oleh rakyat malaysia yang biasa,tidak banyak kesan yang mendalam.tapi lain bagi orang orang tertentu macam kita ini, terasa pedas cili itu.
saya pun suka juga kalau hari raya,ahli keluarga semua dapat balik sebab cuti.dapat bersama-sama.saya seorang saja tak dapat balik.hahhaha.
alaa lynn,nanti keje takkan tak balik raya kot.
4taun/hayat-dikandung-badan = almost negligible.
bagus jugak kita kat sini,dapat menghargai orang orang dan benda benda tersayang
selamat hari raya~!hahaha
no extra holidays macam students kat mesia tu
j'habite hamilton.tak betul lagi ke?aduh.fail.
peter, benar katamu itu. dulu2 aku tgk cam sedeh2 gitu je. skang tgk siap leh nanges2... mmg menyentuh perasaan doh... haha
bukan ape peter, kadang2 tu kan, dunia ni boleh buat kita lalai tau. memang la kalau boleh kita nak jadi anak yg baik, tp mmg kite secara x sengaja boleh terlupa bila da ada hidup masing2. cam video tu, bkn nye anak2 dia jahat tengking2 pun, memang betol pun diorang busy, tp tu la da jadi terlalu immersed in the routines sampai benda besa gini pun boleh terlupa.
harap2 kita x terlalu asyik dibuai kehendak dunia. haha. okeh j'habite hamilton da betol. pass2 haha. btw, good luck amek french tuh. aku ske sgt weh. hikhik.
Kak Lynn,
LOL Yea, I miss the excitement and shrieks we had during the summer. Takpe, next time we have another sleepover yea? =D
Thanks in advance for your cookies! And don't worry about it; "a friend in need is a friend indeed."
Hugs,
Alyssa =D
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