Sunday, November 30, 2008

wish

i wish i was a cat. but that would make me an ungrateful human being. so i'm changing my statement, i wish i could turn into a cat, whenever i feel like. transform into a cat. and sleep. and play. and eat. 

being a human is so... tiring. cause some humans are so sensitive they drive me crazy every time i made a mistake. like, i'm going crazy right now. crazy! aaaaaaa. humans. curse.

okay linda, now go into the cave, and never leave the cave. 

right now, i wish somebody never knew me.

i really really really wish i could turn back time.

Saturday, November 29, 2008

bad linda bad

yeah kok leong, you're right. hahah, racism is not good. i know that but i was just so stressed out yesterday my emotions took over me easily, and thus the previous entry. well i guess it is just some people's nature that they couldn't really help themselves from being too loud. i just hope those people would realize when they are interrupting people around them. I'm okay right now. No more hatred, it only lasted for like 3 hours. that was yesterday. I apologize to those people even though i didn't really specify which one. if you've ever been through what i had, you could sorta guess it correctly. i was wrong, that was so childish of me to think that way. I am sorry. Just a reminder to myself and everyone else, don't make too much noise when you're at a public place especially library,  i mean we can laugh, we can talk and joke around, but not for the whole 2 or 3 hours :| control our voice, be considerate. 

really i used to hate people who bad mouth other races, and look what i've become yesterday. it's funny that i found it almost true that if we hate something, one day we'll probably be doing it or become it. so i guess, don't hate? just go against. not hate. eliminate hatred in this world. 

get it, linda?

Friday, November 28, 2008

racism in me


I'm at Thode right now, and I can feel deep inside of me that I am developing hatred towards this one particular race. I'm so stressed out. Bisin alu jak sidak ya! Bodo, kelaka sikboh la mok kuat2 ilak sora ya, bebelit telinga aku denga bahasa tak org ya, dah jak tetak sigek library denga. Lamak da aku besaba, pikey mok kaji gik, maybe kebetulan jak sigek group ya bisin gilak kedak ya ria, tapi dah lamak da aku polah pemerhatian tok, nang mala muka sidak jak molah bisin rah library tok. Sial na juak.


They changed me. I'm starting to make generalizations.

(intentionally written in my mother tongue language so that not everyone would understand what I meant, well only sarawakians would understand then. Lucky sarawakians. We rock.)

Saturday, November 1, 2008

die!

mosfet. how do you fabricate one? lithography or epitaxy. why do i have to study this thing? remind me one more time why am i in this program. everything's going smaller and smaller. last time a computer used to be as huge as a football field. and now, my joker for example, is so small and cute i get a lot of compliments from people who set their eyes on it. why do people favor smallness nowadays? i think my brain is getting smaller too. great, my brain really follows latest trends. i'm just complaining cause i am forced to do some research for my eng phys assignment. when i say research, it means a lot of reading. and i don't like to read. so, this is when distractions always get my attention you know like jeylo and facebook. or blogs. or youtube. i like this course though. it just amazed me how we can grow nanowires, i repeat grow (that's very wierd to imagine) and the fact that the thing is actually thinner than a strand of human hair just makes me feel so dumb. i mean, is it even working? looks like it's not going to do any function cause it's too small. but this just proves how ignorant i was all these times. of course it'll work you fool, it's the movement of the electrons that generates the current, and electrons are like so small you would need TITAN to see one, and you won't be able to tell if it's colourful or not cause what you'll see would only be shades grey and white which represents the intensity of the reflected beam. and we have one at Mac. I'm so proud of it :D TITAN, nice name by the way. okay now back to work. nano-pet. i wonder if i can own one. euw, all i see is a flea. hahah, a flea as my nano-pet. i would need an electron microscope in my room then. where the hell am i going to sleep? just try placing the word 'nano' in front of anything that you could think of. and try to imagine how it would look like and how you would interact with it. haha. nano-boyfriend.

molecular beam epitaxy here i go! oo btw, it's great that we can build something that is extremely small that we become 'blind' at some scale, but when things get too small, they could then easily enter our body and cause things that we would really want to avoid such as brain damage, etc. i read that somewhere, not sure if it's true or not. but that kinda worries me. it kinda makes sense to me. and i just read an article in time magazine about the use of plastic. how dangerous it could be to us. scared the shit out of me. but everything around me is plastic dude! who the hell came up with the ideas of creating one anyways? damn you, you're killing people slowly, man. science kills!