was this how my summer in canada began

i can't go to sleep yet. and it passed midnight already. yesterday was crazy. yesterday i was supposed to go straight away to my anthropology class but i was so tired i had to skip it. i was planning to take only one course because i only need to take one since the technical elective is not offered in summer. but i realized that i was going to miss two classes which are worth two weeks of classes according to the standard fall/winter term. so nasri registered for me anthrop when i was in malacca since i didn't have internet access back there. now i am torn between cultural studies and critical theories (csct) and anthropology. i'm not really interested in anthrop but apparently anthrop has a lot of advantages, such as no assignments or quizzes, just midterms and final. on the other hand, i need to attend tutorials for csct which requires me to be an active audience by engaging in the discussions, which is so not me and there are essays that i have to write, which i suck at big time. but i think the course is very interesting, so i insist on going to the tutorial and lecture today, to see how it would be like.

it sucked. there were two students who i thought were the TAs giving a presentation on... ipods? okay i know that they showed some ads on ipod and they talked about ipod but i could not really get what their points were. One thing for sure i know that 98% of those people in the class hate apple and its products.

they talked about the advertisements having hidden messages targetted to all of us, making us want to buy their products and how that creates a consumer culture that i thought was being treated negatively by most of them. well i'm not saying that i'm on apple's side or anything, it's just that the reaction that they created or perhaps would like me to create in regard of this issue is just so sharp. it's weird that you talk about public manipulation but at the same time you are actually manipulated by these huge corporates as well.

if the product succeeds today well i guess it's because they implemented strong marketing and that people just love the design or features of the products. i think almost everyone realizes that apple imposes lock-in effect on its consumers. it's not really that convenient to use as well. you can't drag and drop. you have to use itunes. you lose your old playlist when you sync your ipod if you don't have the songs in your laptop anymore. though there are some softwares that you could download to prevent this, but isn't that just tedious.

but people still buy them. so it's the choice of the consumers themselves. so why? hahah. wow...

and they also seem to hate mcdonald's. don't bring your kids there then. educate them, that it's not really healthy. we the consumers are actually the driving force for the success of these businesses.

though i found that i am not on the same page as most of the people in the class, i found it interesting to observe my classmates' reactions on these provoctive issues. i might drop anthrop. but i might drop csct as well. cause i can't speak my mind out. everytime i tried to do so, my stomach rumbled like i was having diarrhea and would probably shit in my pants in just any seconds. help?

so yea i skipped my anthrop class that night, i went straight away to bed. i did buzz my mom on ym before i threw myself on the mattress but she didn't answer. so i left a message for her saying that i was so tired that i needed to sleep. i woke up that night at around 1.30am, that was when i read the blood-rushing news from my mom's message on ym. she said she was admitted into an emergency ward where she had a laser surgery for her bleeding nose. i cried the instant i finished the whole sentences, written in three lines.

i immediately buzz her and found that she was online. and she told me everything. she said she was on her way back home after buying cats food, and she noticed that her nose was bleeding. again. her nose bled like 2 or 3 days ago but it was only for a few minutes and then it stopped. but this time it didn't stop. she was using a small towel to to wipe the blood but not long after that, the towel got soaked with blood. she had to pull over and she said people were just driving pass her, not offering any help. wow malaysians. congrats. luckily after a while there was this young guy driving a van stopped by and helped my mom.

he had two bottles of plain water and poured it onto my mom's head. you know how people say if you're having nose bleed, you should put a cold towel on your forehead to stop the bleeding. that was what the guy was trying to do i guess. and it didn't work. so he called my dad using my mom's phone number. and the guy waited for my dad with my mom.

she said that time, there was already a lot, like seriously a lot of blood flowing out of her nose. she said she thought was going to...ehem. it was painful and she couldn't really breath through her nose cause it's like a bloody waterfall and a lot of the times she couldn't help herself from swallowing the blood. it was terrible she said. i couldn't imagine how it would feel like either T_T

then my dad arrived and took her to normah hospital with his car. she was rushed into an emergency ward and that was around 5pm msia time. and that was the time when i was using the internet coin machine in gatwick, it was 1 pound/2 euros for every freakin 10 minutes, since i really wanted to talk to mom before i board on the plane, i inserted some leftover euro coins that i had after my european trip last time, and it surprised me that 20 euro cents topped up my time credit an extra 10 minutes. my luck i guess. so i had another 20 minutes extra i guess for less than 1 pound or 2 euro. but mom didn't answer me. little that i knew that my mom was actually at the hospital that time. i thought she went for her aerobic session already.

at around 7.30pm in kuching, she woke up and she saw the doctor. she was told that everything's settled. she then istighfar a lot and thanked God that she was still there. and she said suddenly she cried. the nurse asked her why did she cry and she said, she's worried about her daughter who was on her way to canada, and she didn't know if she's there yet... T_T

my brother stayed with her that night because she was only allowed to go back home on the next day. well actually my brother and his friend called harris. they brought their laptops and played games while keeping mom accompanied. harris' family was also being so nice. they paid mom a visit at the hospital right after they heard the news. straight from workplace, and still could meet my mom with smiles on their faces eventhough their stomaches are all empty waiting for dinner. My gratitude to harris and his family.

the cause of this, my parents thought it was because of this health product that they were taking, called alpha lipid. this product contains colostrum which is the pre-natal milk produced by mammals which helps build immune system for babies. somehow, studies have shown that colostrum is also beneficial for adults that it could fix adults internal systems such that the possibility of getting rid of most common diseases is almost unity. i did read on the internet about the side effects, most them are minor like flu, headache or the worst would be diarrhea. but nothing about heavy nose bleed.

it was recommended by my aunt who's having resdung for all of her life, and since she used the product, her nose and eyes were not itchy anymore, she sneezes much lesser than she used to. and she said she had a friend who was diabetic and was taking insulin who got cured by this product. yes cured as in no more diabetis. she has become a normal person.

hearing that. from my own aunt. who had no previous bad history with us. mom and dad were conviced to take the product and give it a shot. who knows, mom won't have to push needle into her flesh every night anymore after taking that thing. i'd be so happy for her if that's the case. however, a hope remains a hope for me. and for my parents as well i guess.

the colostrum might have increased mom's metabollic rate that her body got so hot that the blood vessel in her face got too dried and then leaked. if it was a regular nose bleed, the blood vessel that was cut would have been small, so the bleeding would stop in a very short period of time. but the blood vessel that was cut that day was a huge one. that explains the profuse bleeding.

my mom didn't want to take product anymore. it's not only expensive, a small can, maybe around half a liter can, costs almost RM200, it also costs my dad RM3,300 for the surgery.

alpha lipid people. i emailed a few of the sabah sarawak representatives. no replies. haha.

toot toot tooooooot.

i'm just grateful that she's okay now. she said she's feeling weak these few days. well she lost a lot of blood. i interrogated my brother on ym on this. he said it was pretty bad. and she feels pain everytime she swallows. doctor said it was because of the tube that they had to put in through her throat, it might have caused minor cuts in there.

i felt like a part of me died that night. i couldn't think. i couldn't focus. and i found out that i had an essay due in two days. and i haven't bought the textbook and read the assigned readings and stuff. it was mind-torturing.

and i was relieved when we were told today in class that the deadline is extended till next tuesday.

thank God. my mom is safe.